








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 439 matches | ||
| Premier | 382 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14565 | 31% |
| Smokes | 10796 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 11261 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 10838 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $882,104 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cem | 55% | 145 |
| #2 | BEAST | 53% | 255 |
| #3 | orCheese | 52% | 229 |
| #4 | Palm_Tr33 | 52% | 69 |
| #5 | TherlBread | 50% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Treat PhDD | 48% | 58 |
| #11 | marktheshark | 48% | 148 |
| #12 | Mr. Miggy | 44% | 52 |
| #13 | HtR | 44% | 68 |
| #14 | misknew | 44% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PREACHER | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | BEAST | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | cem | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Treat PhDD | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | orCheese | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TherlBread | 877 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #2 | orCheese | 779 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | cem | 592 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | BEAST | 400 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | PREACHER | 393 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C.R.E.A.M. | +2.69 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Treat PhDD | +2.38 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | marktheshark | +1.50 | 80 | 59 |
| #4 | cem | +1.33 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | Mr. Miggy | +1.22 | 77 | 46 |





