








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2377 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1718 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1030 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1322 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,992 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orCheese | 55% | 66 |
| #2 | BEAST | 55% | 88 |
| #3 | infrnL | 52% | 69 |
| #4 | PREACHER | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | TherlBread | 50% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | infrnL | 52% | 69 |
| #4 | PREACHER | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | TherlBread | 50% | 76 |
| #6 | cem | 48% | 31 |
| #7 | misknew | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEAST | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | orCheese | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | TherlBread | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | infrnL | 430 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #2 | TherlBread | 296 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | orCheese | 197 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | misknew | 130 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | BEAST | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEAST | +1.32 | 65 | 57 |
| #2 | TherlBread | +1.00 | 59 | 77 |
| #3 | PREACHER | +0.76 | 69 | 42 |
| #4 | cem | +0.73 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | Palm_Tr33 | +0.38 | 59 | 66 |





