








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 309 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5756 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4114 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1613 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 4454 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,548,870 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cem | 58% | 182 |
| #2 | Palm_Tr33 | 55% | 66 |
| #3 | TherlBread | 53% | 291 |
| #4 | infrnL | 52% | 229 |
| #5 | BEAST | 52% | 283 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEAST | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | JvLM | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | cem | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | TherlBread | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Palm_Tr33 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | infrnL | 1189 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #2 | TherlBread | 1040 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #3 | JvLM | 784 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #4 | cem | 718 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #5 | BEAST | 434 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orCheese | +1.90 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | JvLM | +1.81 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | cem | +0.98 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | BEAST | +0.97 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | Palm_Tr33 | +0.71 | 61 | 66 |





