








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 881 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 471 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2796 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3713 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4407 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4301 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,151,270 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djin | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | Timbalandz | 65% | 34 |
| #3 | M8 | 64% | 50 |
| #4 | stemu | 63% | 76 |
| #5 | Blade of Saeldor | 63% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Kakkanen | 52% | 282 |
| #17 | NuGzMeister | 49% | 41 |
| #18 | ygy shot jusuf | 49% | 37 |
| #19 | Iikkaaaa | 49% | 107 |
| #20 | Natzku☂ | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khasq | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Iikkaaaa | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Glastone | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | djin | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | n0rppa | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kakkanen | 1297 | 0.21 | 34 min |
| #2 | Khasq | 617 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | Johnny F. Raider | 504 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #4 | PSOTY | 459 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #5 | n0rppa | 350 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny F. Raider | +2.39 | 77 | 83 |
| #2 | Kakkanen | +2.33 | 77 | 78 |
| #3 | PSOTY | +2.19 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | Рэй <> | +1.22 | 77 | 70 |
| #5 | Natzku☂ | +1.12 | 76 | 62 |





