








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 913 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 507 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4448 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5983 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5843 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6773 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,891,390 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 682 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Рэй <> | 64% | 78 |
| #2 | Blade of Saeldor | 59% | 107 |
| #3 | ePä ReHtI☂ ePäBaNjO☂ | 57% | 98 |
| #4 | Jokke | 56% | 116 |
| #5 | Khasq | 56% | 263 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Mathe | 52% | 79 |
| #16 | NuGzMeister | 51% | 47 |
| #17 | irppa | 49% | 73 |
| #18 | Glastone | 49% | 53 |
| #19 | HeimoBoy | 49% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djin | 22 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Khasq | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Kakkanen | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Blade of Saeldor | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Рэй <> | 6 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khasq | 1078 | 0.19 | 27 min |
| #2 | PSOTY | 1035 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #3 | Kakkanen | 812 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #4 | Johnny F. Raider | 596 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #5 | Blade of Saeldor | 384 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny F. Raider | +2.46 | 78 | 78 |
| #2 | Рэй <> | +1.98 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | Kakkanen | +1.88 | 77 | 77 |
| #4 | Natzku☂ | +1.63 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | PSOTY | +1.52 | 82 | 70 |





