








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1001 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 456 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6716 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7181 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4955 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3748 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,337,224 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blade of Saeldor | 79% | 43 |
| #2 | djin | 75% | 28 |
| #3 | M8 | 71% | 35 |
| #4 | NuGzMeister | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | HeimoBoy | 62% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Iikkaaaa | 52% | 136 |
| #18 | Mathe | 51% | 61 |
| #19 | Khasq | 50% | 163 |
| #20 | ☜☆☞Gigguℓα☜☆☞ | 49% | 57 |
| #21 | sns | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0rppa | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | djin | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Рэй <> | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Khasq | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | PSOTY | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kakkanen | 912 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | Khasq | 574 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | ePä ReHtI☂ ePäBaNjO☂ | 395 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | PSOTY | 336 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | Iikkaaaa | 209 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny F. Raider | +2.30 | 76 | 79 |
| #2 | Natzku☂ | +1.50 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | Kakkanen | +1.20 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | Рэй <> | +1.18 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | M8 | +0.72 | 77 | 47 |





