








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 316 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 282 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5177 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3976 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4068 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3580 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,743 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | 64% | 59 |
| #2 | M1nebr0 // LFT | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | Rimliquor | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | 𝕄annaggiArmando☁ | 60% | 157 |
| #5 | VoidZ | 59% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | VoidZ | 59% | 64 |
| #6 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 52% | 266 |
| #7 | TheNorthernDaddy | 51% | 131 |
| #8 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | 50% | 188 |
| #9 | Broski-ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | TheNorthernDaddy | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | VoidZ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | 849 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | 𝕄annaggiArmando☁ | 703 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #3 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 452 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #4 | TheNorthernDaddy | 327 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | VoidZ | 176 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rimliquor | +3.62 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | +3.17 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | VoidZ | +3.12 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | 𝕄annaggiArmando☁ | +3.01 | 83 | 70 |
| #5 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | +2.27 | 79 | 63 |





