








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2578 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3110 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1703 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2327 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,660 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 898 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1nebr0 // LFT | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | 𝕄annaggiArmando☁ | 64% | 50 |
| #3 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | 3dit | 59% | 64 |
| #5 | Broski-ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ | 55% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broski-ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | TheNorthernDaddy | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | snaze^ | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | 424 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | 𝕄annaggiArmando☁ | 252 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | 3dit | 220 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 159 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | TheNorthernDaddy | 109 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VoidZ | +2.65 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | +2.44 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | M1nebr0 // LFT | +1.83 | 85 | 55 |
| #4 | 𝕄annaggiArmando☁ | +1.46 | 82 | 71 |
| #5 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | +0.44 | 72 | 66 |





