








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 398 matches | ||
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11765 | 37% |
| Smokes | 7893 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5785 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6668 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $916,432 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 517 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | 66% | 110 |
| #2 | VoidZ | 55% | 102 |
| #3 | M1nebr0 // LFT | 53% | 60 |
| #4 | snaze^ | 52% | 137 |
| #5 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 51% | 361 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | snaze^ | 52% | 137 |
| #5 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 51% | 361 |
| #6 | 3dit | 50% | 188 |
| #7 | Broski-ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ | 49% | 89 |
| #8 | TheNorthernDaddy | 49% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snaze^ | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | VoidZ | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | TheNorthernDaddy | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | M1nebr0 // LFT | 5 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3dit | 555 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 496 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #3 | TheNorthernDaddy | 366 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | snaze^ | 335 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | VoidZ | 287 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VoidZ | +2.69 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | +2.53 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | M1nebr0 // LFT | +1.19 | 89 | 49 |
| #4 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | +1.09 | 77 | 67 |
| #5 | snaze^ | +0.91 | 67 | 64 |





