








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2021 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 807 matches | ||
| Premier | 410 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 56,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14288 | 25% |
| Smokes | 13911 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 13060 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 15708 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,439,327 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕄annaggiArmando☁ | 53% | 154 |
| #2 | 3dit | 51% | 131 |
| #3 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | 49% | 144 |
| #4 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 47% | 283 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕄annaggiArmando☁ | 53% | 154 |
| #2 | 3dit | 51% | 131 |
| #3 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | 49% | 144 |
| #4 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 47% | 283 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | 3dit | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | 𝕄annaggiArmando☁ | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕄annaggiArmando☁ | 591 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | 587 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #3 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | 443 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #4 | 3dit | 409 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noxic ⭕⃤ | +4.13 | 85 | 71 |
| #2 | 𝕄annaggiArmando☁ | +3.94 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | 3dit | +1.67 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | TheNorthernDaddy | -0.89 | 58 | 60 |
| #5 | Rudeness⭕⃤ | -2.62 | 47 | 60 |





