








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 647 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1186 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1063 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1037 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1081 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $614,446 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 717 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j3nni | 75% | 44 |
| #2 | Tophr | 68% | 135 |
| #3 | soap | 62% | 69 |
| #4 | sportz | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | seemitch | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | soap | 62% | 69 |
| #4 | sportz | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | seemitch | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | marsh | 46% | 26 |
| #7 | M- | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tophr | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | j3nni | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | soap | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | sportz | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | seemitch | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tophr | 448 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | soap | 278 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | j3nni | 198 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | marsh | 132 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | sportz | 73 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tophr | +3.20 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | noahhcascioo | +2.36 | 89 | 58 |
| #3 | j3nni | +1.77 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | soap | +0.44 | 82 | 58 |
| #5 | seemitch | -0.00 | 87 | 54 |





