








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2250 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2284 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 915 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1763 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,543 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John, Goon | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | GooeyKoolaid | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | w1tchfind3r | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | a̵v̶r̷a̸m̵ | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | HOMIE | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | noahhcascioo | 43% | 14 |
| #13 | aido | 40% | 67 |
| #14 | soap | 33% | 15 |
| #15 | sportz | 32% | 28 |
| #16 | Zeej | 31% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aido | 10 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Zeej | 10 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | HOMIE | 9 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | on jah its getting freaky | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | w1tchfind3r | 6 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeej | +1.93 | 78 | 51 |
| #2 | a̵v̶r̷a̸m̵ | +1.43 | 75 | 33 |
| #3 | 4 | +1.37 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | HOMIE | +1.34 | 69 | 50 |
| #5 | M- | +1.08 | 78 | 62 |





