








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 652 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2445 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2265 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1831 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2278 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,018,806 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seemitch | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | Retro | 74% | 38 |
| #3 | j3nni | 69% | 29 |
| #4 | Kua1a | 67% | 91 |
| #5 | sportz | 64% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Ƨtɘvɘs ツ | 38% | 21 |
| #14 | M- | 33% | 15 |
| #15 | Papeno | 25% | 20 |
| #16 | JTizzle24 #LLJW | 24% | 17 |
| #17 | Zero | 14% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sportz | 340 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | noahhcascioo | 269 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tophr | 234 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | marsh | 142 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | pho | 138 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tophr | +2.81 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | sportz | +2.66 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | seemitch | +2.24 | 92 | 63 |
| #4 | soap | +1.97 | 86 | 59 |
| #5 | Kua1a | +1.80 | 82 | 62 |





