








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 848 | 31% |
| Smokes | 594 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 556 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 709 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,575 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sportz | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | M- | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | j3nni | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Tophr | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | noahhcascioo | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tophr | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | noahhcascioo | 46% | 26 |
| #6 | soap | 44% | 25 |
| #7 | doobs | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | Mellow | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noahhcascioo | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noahhcascioo | 120 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Tophr | 114 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | j3nni | 88 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | soap | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | doobs | 38 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tophr | +3.92 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | noahhcascioo | +0.99 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | Mellow | +0.61 | 82 | 52 |
| #4 | marsh | -0.41 | 86 | 66 |
| #5 | soap | -0.60 | 85 | 62 |





