








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1772 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1879 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1309 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2204 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,348 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j3nni | 70% | 44 |
| #2 | noahhcascioo | 68% | 135 |
| #3 | sportz | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | soap | 61% | 64 |
| #5 | seemitch | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | sportz | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | soap | 61% | 64 |
| #5 | seemitch | 54% | 13 |
| #6 | marsh | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | M- | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noahhcascioo | 19 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | j3nni | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | soap | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | sportz | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | marsh | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noahhcascioo | 423 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | soap | 252 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | j3nni | 205 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | marsh | 134 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | sportz | 68 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tophr | +3.79 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | noahhcascioo | +1.99 | 89 | 58 |
| #3 | j3nni | +1.26 | 82 | 71 |
| #4 | seemitch | +0.24 | 80 | 58 |
| #5 | marsh | +0.20 | 87 | 66 |





