








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1000 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3258 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3108 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1973 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2831 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $986,148 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 868 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krels | 95% | 19 |
| #2 | Gurtz | 79% | 19 |
| #3 | noahhcascioo | 75% | 44 |
| #4 | ʻO Noa ke aliʻi | 73% | 22 |
| #5 | Jolts | 72% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toasty | 9 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | noahhcascioo | 8 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Jolts | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Gurtz | 4 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | Tophr | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toasty | 235 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | Tophr | 172 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | noahhcascioo | 164 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | marsh | 148 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jolts | 111 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colin | +3.12 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | Jolts | +2.78 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | Tophr | +2.52 | 85 | 65 |
| #4 | ʻO Noa ke aliʻi | +2.48 | 94 | 52 |
| #5 | noahhcascioo | +2.19 | 89 | 60 |





