








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 1,506 | |
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 695 | 41% |
| Smokes | 288 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 491 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 236 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $167,191 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrwickey | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | granen | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Invalido | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | xs | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | jappdigmamma | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kinesien | 8 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | pesse jinkman | 5 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | Σ Alexius Σ | 5 | 0.0217 |
| #4 | Säpos Certifierade TF2-Proffs | 4 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | mrwickey | 3 | 0.0182 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kinesien | 117 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Invalido | 58 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Säpos Certifierade TF2-Proffs | 46 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | pesse jinkman | 46 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | urban dolmemos | 45 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Säpos Certifierade TF2-Proffs | +7.26 | 91 | 67 |
| #2 | Invalido | +6.98 | 94 | 70 |
| #3 | jappdigmamma | +6.61 | 67 | 70 |
| #4 | I Drug Women | +6.25 | 61 | 41 |
| #5 | granen | +4.22 | 74 | 52 |





