








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 1,559 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 492 | 32% |
| Smokes | 332 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 602 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 90 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,649 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dahlberg | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Fyrtiotvå | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | jappdigmamma | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | Σ Alexius Σ | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Kinesien | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Σ Alexius Σ | 5 | 0.0379 |
| #2 | Kinesien | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | M4nning | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | pesse jinkman | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Säpos Certifierade TF2-Proffs | 2 | 0.0183 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kinesien | 80 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | pesse jinkman | 65 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | baltic vacuum | 55 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | M4nning | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fyrtiotvå | 35 | 0.42 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Säpos Certifierade TF2-Proffs | +6.16 | 87 | 79 |
| #2 | Dahlberg | +5.26 | 80 | 64 |
| #3 | jappdigmamma | +4.19 | 70 | 68 |
| #4 | Fyrtiotvå | +3.88 | 65 | 53 |
| #5 | Kinesien | +2.37 | 66 | 60 |





