








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 671 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Esplay | 41 matches | 1,844 | |
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2142 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1921 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1588 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1560 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,456 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicke2006 | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Invalido | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | Fyrtiotvå | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | xs | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | mrwickey | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | M4nning | 57% | 21 |
| #9 | baltic vacuum | 52% | 46 |
| #10 | I Drug Women | 51% | 35 |
| #11 | pesse jinkman | 51% | 49 |
| #12 | Säpos Certifierade TF2-Proffs | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Σ Alexius Σ | 9 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | pesse jinkman | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Säpos Certifierade TF2-Proffs | 7 | 0.0179 |
| #4 | baltic vacuum | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | mrwickey | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pesse jinkman | 160 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | baltic vacuum | 111 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fyrtiotvå | 95 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | Invalido | 75 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | urban dolmemos | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Invalido | +7.66 | 94 | 66 |
| #2 | Säpos Certifierade TF2-Proffs | +5.79 | 88 | 61 |
| #3 | Nicke2006 | +5.22 | 77 | 52 |
| #4 | Kinesien | +2.45 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | Fyrtiotvå | +2.22 | 74 | 69 |





