








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 618 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2461 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2400 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2215 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2642 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $724,412 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 64% | 55 |
| #2 | LEVI | 55% | 95 |
| #3 | Hello | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | sammy_boy.GG | 54% | 67 |
| #5 | aut0 | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sammy_boy.GG | 54% | 67 |
| #5 | aut0 | 51% | 37 |
| #6 | Ben- | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | icyfire48 | 42% | 24 |
| #8 | EnQuest | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEVI | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | EnQuest | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | sammy_boy.GG | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Hello | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | icyfire48 | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEVI | 530 | 0.31 | 14 min |
| #2 | Hunter | 267 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | sammy_boy.GG | 173 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hello | 127 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | aut0 | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEVI | +1.69 | 67 | 81 |
| #2 | AdderallEnjoyer | +0.72 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | sammy_boy.GG | +0.70 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | Hunter | +0.22 | 83 | 68 |
| #5 | Hello | +0.17 | 79 | 69 |





