








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2457 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1307 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1923 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2370 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $731,225 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | sammy_boy.GG | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | EnQuest | 58% | 59 |
| #4 | beak | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | LEVI | 56% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | EnQuest | 58% | 59 |
| #4 | beak | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | LEVI | 56% | 72 |
| #6 | AdderallEnjoyer | 51% | 37 |
| #7 | Hello | 49% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EnQuest | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | LEVI | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Hello | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | beak | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEVI | 449 | 0.34 | 12 min |
| #2 | Hello | 219 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | EnQuest | 152 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | sammy_boy.GG | 130 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hunter | 85 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EnQuest | +1.20 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | LEVI | +1.06 | 68 | 79 |
| #3 | Hunter | +0.83 | 79 | 58 |
| #4 | sammy_boy.GG | +0.75 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | aut0 | +0.64 | 70 | 61 |





