








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 778 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7143 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5389 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3034 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3826 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $595,058 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 655 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnnyB | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | Hunter | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Soke_King | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | sammy_boy.GG | 61% | 142 |
| #5 | Hello | 60% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | EnQuest | 55% | 82 |
| #9 | AdderallEnjoyer | 55% | 95 |
| #10 | Ben- | 53% | 30 |
| #11 | icyfire48 | 50% | 20 |
| #12 | Gryph | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sammy_boy.GG | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Hello | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | aut0 | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | EnQuest | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Soke_King | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sammy_boy.GG | 369 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hello | 322 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | AdderallEnjoyer | 263 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | EnQuest | 172 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | aut0 | 149 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEVI | +1.73 | 69 | 77 |
| #2 | icyfire48 | +1.56 | 70 | 62 |
| #3 | EnQuest | +1.37 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | sammy_boy.GG | +0.74 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | Hunter | +0.58 | 82 | 61 |





