








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 454 matches | ||
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 59,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17089 | 29% |
| Smokes | 16937 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 11031 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 14709 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,485,310 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 761 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conray13 | 52% | 351 |
| #2 | Deep Water Trout Goku | 51% | 294 |
| #3 | Cheesenipps | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | Bunion_Knight | 47% | 190 |
| #5 | vegeta Atlantic salmon | 47% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cheesenipps | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | Bunion_Knight | 47% | 190 |
| #5 | vegeta Atlantic salmon | 47% | 90 |
| #6 | Ovad | 46% | 78 |
| #7 | msn | 45% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deep Water Trout Goku | 17 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | vegeta Atlantic salmon | 17 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Conray13 | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Bunion_Knight | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Ovad | 10 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conray13 | 634 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #2 | Deep Water Trout Goku | 472 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | msn | 452 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | Bunion_Knight | 202 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ovad | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | +1.82 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | msn | +1.20 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | Deep Water Trout Goku | +0.62 | 62 | 49 |
| #4 | Conray13 | -0.10 | 57 | 44 |
| #5 | Ovad | -0.69 | 47 | 44 |





