








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1507 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 403 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5641 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6230 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4852 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6430 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,184,777 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 700 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEVI | 60% | 135 |
| #2 | Vongola | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | EnQuest | 59% | 75 |
| #4 | sammy_boy.GG | 55% | 130 |
| #5 | AdderallEnjoyer | 54% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | AdderallEnjoyer | 54% | 57 |
| #6 | Vex | 52% | 98 |
| #7 | Playoff Run | 52% | 188 |
| #8 | aut0 | 49% | 82 |
| #9 | JoNe$Y | 46% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sammy_boy.GG | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Playoff Run | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | aut0 | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | EnQuest | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | JoNe$Y | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Playoff Run | 1008 | 0.25 | 26 min |
| #2 | LEVI | 548 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #3 | sammy_boy.GG | 313 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Vex | 258 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | JoNe$Y | 210 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoNe$Y | +3.47 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | sammy_boy.GG | +1.10 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | LEVI | +0.97 | 65 | 78 |
| #4 | EnQuest | +0.72 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | Hello | +0.03 | 76 | 68 |





