








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1585 | 34% |
| Smokes | 776 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1285 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 986 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,994 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello | 59% | 75 |
| #2 | aut0 | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | sammy_boy.GG | 57% | 58 |
| #4 | LEVI | 55% | 82 |
| #5 | Gryph | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | LEVI | 55% | 82 |
| #5 | Gryph | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | Ben- | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | AdderallEnjoyer | 40% | 25 |
| #8 | Accel | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aut0 | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Hello | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | sammy_boy.GG | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Gryph | 2 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEVI | 337 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | Hello | 207 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | sammy_boy.GG | 146 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | aut0 | 96 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | AdderallEnjoyer | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EnQuest | +0.92 | 76 | 63 |
| #2 | sammy_boy.GG | +0.79 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | Hello | +0.67 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | LEVI | +0.23 | 66 | 77 |
| #5 | Ben- | -0.78 | 66 | 53 |





