








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1055 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 746 | 28% |
| Smokes | 327 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 598 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 972 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,896 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tutim | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | SpaceHelicopter | 48% | 50 |
| #3 | E@MyShorts2333 | 48% | 80 |
| #4 | Grimace | 41% | 32 |
| #5 | Ultipenguin | 39% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Apollo | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | DAVE 3 | 37% | 19 |
| #8 | Sledge | 37% | 19 |
| #9 | K3ibl3r3lf | 33% | 40 |
| #10 | GerryD91 | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E@MyShorts2333 | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Ultipenguin | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Tutim | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Grimace | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | K3ibl3r3lf | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E@MyShorts2333 | 126 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ultipenguin | 74 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Grimace | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | K3ibl3r3lf | 68 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tutim | 68 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimace | +3.48 | 67 | 44 |
| #2 | Apollo | +1.73 | 38 | 32 |
| #3 | Ultipenguin | +1.00 | 52 | 38 |
| #4 | SpaceHelicopter | +0.73 | 48 | 50 |
| #5 | Tutim | +0.08 | 52 | 51 |





