








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 333 matches | ||
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2591 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4773 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3081 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2474 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $190,869 of utility $13 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apollo | 50% | 130 |
| #2 | Tutim | 49% | 284 |
| #3 | Grimace | 48% | 271 |
| #4 | SpaceHelicopter | 48% | 155 |
| #5 | E@MyShorts2333 | 48% | 461 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Apps0 | 41% | 58 |
| #9 | K3ibl3r3lf | 40% | 232 |
| #10 | Plimbus | 39% | 96 |
| #11 | Sledge | 38% | 114 |
| #12 | GerryD91 | 38% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E@MyShorts2333 | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Tutim | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | K3ibl3r3lf | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Grimace | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Sledge | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E@MyShorts2333 | 670 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #2 | Tutim | 555 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | Grimace | 515 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | K3ibl3r3lf | 362 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | Plimbus | 193 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimace | +2.57 | 66 | 48 |
| #2 | Ultipenguin | +1.32 | 53 | 40 |
| #3 | Tutim | +1.19 | 54 | 56 |
| #4 | Apollo | +0.53 | 36 | 38 |
| #5 | SpaceHelicopter | -0.21 | 47 | 55 |





