








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1581 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3852 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2353 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2313 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,340 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimace | 55% | 150 |
| #2 | Plimbus | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | E@MyShorts2333 | 50% | 231 |
| #4 | SpaceHelicopter | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | Ultipenguin | 49% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DAVE 3 | 47% | 73 |
| #9 | K3ibl3r3lf | 46% | 107 |
| #10 | GerryD91 | 45% | 31 |
| #11 | Apps0 | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | dudemcsauce | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E@MyShorts2333 | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Ultipenguin | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Grimace | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | K3ibl3r3lf | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | dudemcsauce | 3 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultipenguin | 378 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | E@MyShorts2333 | 301 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Grimace | 287 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | K3ibl3r3lf | 159 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Apollo | 86 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimace | +2.61 | 67 | 49 |
| #2 | Tutim | +1.21 | 54 | 55 |
| #3 | Ultipenguin | +0.82 | 56 | 42 |
| #4 | Apollo | +0.09 | 33 | 40 |
| #5 | SpaceHelicopter | -0.90 | 47 | 57 |





