








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 898 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 585 matches | ||
| Faceit | 309 matches | ||
| Wingman | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5220 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7364 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5776 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8428 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,936,429 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 435 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimace | 53% | 189 |
| #2 | Apollo | 52% | 95 |
| #3 | Tutim | 50% | 231 |
| #4 | SpaceHelicopter | 49% | 148 |
| #5 | Ultipenguin | 48% | 461 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | KayDay019 | 48% | 210 |
| #7 | Plimbus | 48% | 80 |
| #8 | DAVE 3 | 46% | 99 |
| #9 | Dumpling | 46% | 96 |
| #10 | K3ibl3r3lf | 41% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dumpling | 27 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Ultipenguin | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Tutim | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Grimace | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | K3ibl3r3lf | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultipenguin | 608 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #2 | Tutim | 440 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Grimace | 372 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | K3ibl3r3lf | 322 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | Plimbus | 155 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dumpling | +3.84 | 48 | 18 |
| #2 | Grimace | +2.41 | 65 | 51 |
| #3 | Tutim | +1.27 | 54 | 55 |
| #4 | Ultipenguin | +1.13 | 53 | 41 |
| #5 | Apollo | +0.69 | 35 | 38 |





