








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1374 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3019 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 3046 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 599 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $991,507 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAVE 3 | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | Tutim | 50% | 54 |
| #3 | E@MyShorts2333 | 49% | 148 |
| #4 | Plimbus | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | Ultipenguin | 48% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Plimbus | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | Ultipenguin | 48% | 155 |
| #6 | K3ibl3r3lf | 47% | 49 |
| #7 | Grimace | 45% | 47 |
| #8 | Apollo | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultipenguin | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | E@MyShorts2333 | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Tutim | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Grimace | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E@MyShorts2333 | 225 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ultipenguin | 167 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Plimbus | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Grimace | 96 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tutim | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimace | +1.89 | 62 | 50 |
| #2 | Ultipenguin | +1.03 | 48 | 38 |
| #3 | Tutim | +0.92 | 43 | 53 |
| #4 | SpaceHelicopter | -0.02 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | E@MyShorts2333 | -0.18 | 28 | 34 |





