








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 883 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 533 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5412 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6766 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6473 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5893 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,216,022 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | PooKy2SpooKy | 49% | 119 |
| #10 | Bøjang Bugami | 49% | 105 |
| #11 | Csb2015 | 48% | 50 |
| #12 | qwertyPi3 | 48% | 132 |
| #13 | bruh | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Kibble | 30 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | qwertyPi3 | 14 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | shmaab | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ST1LLY | 12 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | Hammy | 8 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qwertyPi3 | 297 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Mr.Kibble | 292 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | bruh | 275 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Big Milk | 169 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | shmaab | 166 | 0.02 | 3 min |





