








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 165 | 13% |
| Smokes | 568 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 281 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 286 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $39,688 of utility $14 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ST1LLY | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | NorsemaN | 53% | 120 |
| #3 | shmaab | 51% | 103 |
| #4 | Mr.Kibble | 49% | 86 |
| #5 | Bøjang Bugami | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ST1LLY | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | NorsemaN | 53% | 120 |
| #3 | shmaab | 51% | 103 |
| #4 | Mr.Kibble | 49% | 86 |
| #5 | Bøjang Bugami | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Kibble | 18 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | NorsemaN | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | shmaab | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Bøjang Bugami | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | ST1LLY | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorsemaN | 236 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mr.Kibble | 102 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bøjang Bugami | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | shmaab | 32 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | ST1LLY | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorsemaN | +3.74 | 75 | 56 |
| #2 | ST1LLY | +2.65 | 71 | 46 |
| #3 | Mr.Kibble | +1.06 | 63 | 47 |
| #4 | Hammy | -1.44 | 37 | 25 |
| #5 | Bøjang Bugami | -2.17 | 47 | 46 |





