








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 553 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1010 | 4% |
| Smokes | 4989 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 13784 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 7797 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,377,540 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gabE | 58% | 86 |
| #2 | bruh | 52% | 320 |
| #3 | NorsemaN | 49% | 119 |
| #4 | qwertyPi3 | 48% | 89 |
| #5 | Big Milk | 48% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bruh | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | KPak | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Whonorable(Mud) | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Big Milk | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | qwertyPi3 | 7 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bruh | 1334 | 0.20 | 36 min |
| #2 | Whonorable(Mud) | 1012 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #3 | gabE | 651 | 0.35 | 18 min |
| #4 | Big Milk | 371 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | KPak | 301 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KPak | +1.63 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | PooKy2SpooKy | +1.10 | 66 | 47 |
| #3 | qwertyPi3 | +0.98 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | gabE | +0.32 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | bruh | +0.21 | 62 | 64 |





