








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 806 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 521 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6486 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6386 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5946 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5312 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,746,945 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ST1LLY | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | Qwertyloops | 52% | 67 |
| #3 | vir | 52% | 139 |
| #4 | mAGNETo | 51% | 87 |
| #5 | t0ilet_papr | 50% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ST1LLY | 15 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | ursadcat | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | NorsemaN | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Big Milk | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | PooKy2SpooKy | 6 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ursadcat | 705 | 0.08 | 23 min |
| #2 | t0ilet_papr | 327 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | mAGNETo | 269 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | vir | 220 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | NorsemaN | 218 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vir | +2.69 | 66 | 73 |
| #2 | qwertyPi3 | +1.92 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | ST1LLY | +1.06 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | PooKy2SpooKy | +0.97 | 60 | 47 |
| #5 | Big Milk | +0.08 | 59 | 50 |





