








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Wingman | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 682 | 7% |
| Smokes | 545 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 4783 | 51% |
| Molotovs | 3395 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $626,976 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1064 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hammy | 51% | 103 |
| #2 | NorsemaN | 50% | 411 |
| #3 | Mr.Kibble | 48% | 189 |
| #4 | Bøjang Bugami | 43% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hammy | 51% | 103 |
| #2 | NorsemaN | 50% | 411 |
| #3 | Mr.Kibble | 48% | 189 |
| #4 | Bøjang Bugami | 43% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorsemaN | 32 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Mr.Kibble | 31 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Hammy | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Bøjang Bugami | 7 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorsemaN | 658 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #2 | Mr.Kibble | 219 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Bøjang Bugami | 95 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hammy | 26 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorsemaN | +3.24 | 78 | 52 |
| #2 | Mr.Kibble | +1.24 | 63 | 44 |
| #3 | Hammy | -1.14 | 38 | 26 |
| #4 | shmaab | -1.82 | 43 | 33 |
| #5 | Bøjang Bugami | -2.51 | 44 | 46 |





