








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 750 | 24% |
| Smokes | 779 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 663 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 982 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,635 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorsemaN | 49% | 105 |
| #2 | Mr.Kibble | 46% | 106 |
| #3 | Hammy | 46% | 48 |
| #4 | shmaab | 43% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorsemaN | 49% | 105 |
| #2 | Mr.Kibble | 46% | 106 |
| #3 | Hammy | 46% | 48 |
| #4 | shmaab | 43% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Kibble | 20 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | NorsemaN | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Hammy | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | shmaab | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorsemaN | 216 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mr.Kibble | 105 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | shmaab | 41 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Hammy | 14 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorsemaN | +3.84 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | Mr.Kibble | +1.26 | 64 | 43 |
| #3 | Hammy | -0.80 | 39 | 23 |
| #4 | Bøjang Bugami | -1.29 | 48 | 45 |
| #5 | shmaab | -2.53 | 42 | 33 |





