








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3857 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3651 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3068 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3373 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,351,709 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 950 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nichet | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Bipje | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | jace | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Halko | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | carppa | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carppa | 1020 | 0.26 | 32 min |
| #2 | Bipje | 679 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | nichet | 556 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #4 | Halko | 455 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | jace | 326 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carppa | +4.39 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | morn pouse | +2.02 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | jace | +1.73 | 82 | 58 |
| #4 | F1skar | +0.65 | 75 | 48 |
| #5 | Washed | +0.21 | 71 | 62 |





