








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 824 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2697 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1682 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2383 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2150 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $936,342 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 🙂 | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | Washed | 53% | 135 |
| #6 | nichet | 53% | 149 |
| #7 | Bipje | 53% | 135 |
| #8 | Halko | 51% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carppa | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | nichet | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Bipje | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Washed | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | 🙂 | 4 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Washed | 484 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | carppa | 346 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #3 | nichet | 254 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Halko | 203 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bipje | 200 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carppa | +3.72 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | jace | +2.18 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | 🙂 | +0.60 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | Washed | +0.43 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | F1skar | +0.22 | 72 | 48 |





