








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 831 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2368 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1434 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1556 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,021,873 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carppa | 60% | 93 |
| #2 | Bipje | 60% | 146 |
| #3 | jace | 57% | 77 |
| #4 | Washed | 55% | 174 |
| #5 | Halko | 53% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bipje | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Halko | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | nichet | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | jace | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Washed | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Washed | 642 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | carppa | 507 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #3 | nichet | 301 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bipje | 299 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Halko | 299 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carppa | +4.82 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | morn pouse | +1.41 | 90 | 63 |
| #3 | jace | +1.31 | 84 | 59 |
| #4 | F1skar | +0.35 | 73 | 47 |
| #5 | Washed | +0.28 | 70 | 65 |





