








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 379 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4746 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4587 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4046 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5893 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,902,249 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F1skar | 60% | 146 |
| #2 | KIVI | 58% | 83 |
| #3 | carppa | 58% | 203 |
| #4 | morn pouse | 54% | 59 |
| #5 | Washed | 54% | 296 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nichet | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | jace | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Washed | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Halko | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Dolan Dump ♿ | 6 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carppa | 1085 | 0.26 | 34 min |
| #2 | Washed | 1041 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #3 | nichet | 524 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | Halko | 349 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | jace | 328 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KIVI | +8.52 | 88 | 41 |
| #2 | carppa | +4.18 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | morn pouse | +3.31 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | jace | +1.94 | 85 | 59 |
| #5 | F1skar | +0.81 | 75 | 45 |





