








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2263 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1599 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2772 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2314 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,829 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | F1skar | 53% | 122 |
| #4 | jace | 51% | 89 |
| #5 | Bipje | 50% | 140 |
| #6 | nichet | 47% | 168 |
| #7 | Washed | 45% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nichet | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Washed | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Bipje | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | F1skar | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | jace | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Washed | 622 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | carppa | 430 | 0.29 | 13 min |
| #3 | nichet | 306 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Bipje | 294 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | jace | 203 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carppa | +4.66 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | jace | +1.57 | 83 | 55 |
| #3 | Washed | +0.45 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | F1skar | +0.32 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | nichet | -0.31 | 40 | 62 |





