








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3006 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2322 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1848 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2241 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,284,841 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vladimus | 79% | 39 |
| #2 | Betrox | 74% | 35 |
| #3 | K0han- | 64% | 83 |
| #4 | fAME- | 60% | 217 |
| #5 | OYSHI | 60% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Un4gettableMatt | 59% | 56 |
| #7 | headshot machine | 58% | 156 |
| #8 | Freeman*- | 56% | 126 |
| #9 | Fleso21 | 56% | 43 |
| #10 | PLEXAR! | 48% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fAME- | 23 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | OYSHI | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | headshot machine | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | K0han- | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Freeman*- | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | headshot machine | 714 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | OYSHI | 540 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | fAME- | 446 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | PLEXAR! | 254 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | K0han- | 208 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyler durden | +2.43 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | K0han- | +2.04 | 89 | 65 |
| #3 | fAME- | +1.98 | 85 | 65 |
| #4 | headshot machine | +1.54 | 78 | 65 |
| #5 | Un4gettableMatt | +0.71 | 75 | 61 |





