








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 276 matches | ||
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4204 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3548 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4181 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4288 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,619,802 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1616 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vladimus | 65% | 104 |
| #2 | tyler durden | 64% | 83 |
| #3 | OYSHI | 62% | 192 |
| #4 | 👻 | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | Betrox | 59% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | headshot machine | 56% | 294 |
| #9 | Freeman*- | 56% | 215 |
| #10 | PLEXAR! | 51% | 92 |
| #11 | NETVOR | 50% | 70 |
| #12 | fAME- | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | headshot machine | 24 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | NETVOR | 14 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | OYSHI | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Fleso21 | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | fAME- | 10 | 0.0139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | headshot machine | 1304 | 0.22 | 35 min |
| #2 | OYSHI | 458 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Fleso21 | 347 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Freeman*- | 305 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | PLEXAR! | 287 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fAME- | +5.61 | 90 | 60 |
| #2 | tyler durden | +3.54 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | K0han- | +2.64 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | headshot machine | +2.40 | 81 | 68 |
| #5 | Un4gettableMatt | +1.87 | 80 | 66 |





