








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1001 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 568 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




132 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,430 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1967 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4904 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3728 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3831 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,522,847 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pissedvegetable | 52% | 289 |
| #2 | Valore | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | goupy | 47% | 252 |
| #4 | booted | 46% | 54 |
| #5 | dray-k | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | goupy | 47% | 252 |
| #4 | booted | 46% | 54 |
| #5 | dray-k | 45% | 110 |
| #6 | Perc-Wizard | 45% | 232 |
| #7 | Bizzy Wizzy | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perc-Wizard | 40 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | goupy | 26 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | pissedvegetable | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | dray-k | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Bizzy Wizzy | 6 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pissedvegetable | 731 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | goupy | 495 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | dray-k | 276 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Perc-Wizard | 262 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | booted | 161 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | booted | +1.53 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | dray-k | +1.35 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | Valore | +0.79 | 45 | 31 |
| #4 | pissedvegetable | +0.33 | 52 | 65 |
| #5 | goupy | +0.19 | 29 | 53 |





