








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2112 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3670 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1587 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3835 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,248,883 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1604 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 76% | 34 |
| #2 | type shit | 70% | 69 |
| #3 | dray-k | 57% | 171 |
| #4 | CptCream420 | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | I own aux | 45% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dray-k | 57% | 171 |
| #4 | CptCream420 | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | I own aux | 45% | 232 |
| #6 | pissedvegetable | 44% | 86 |
| #7 | goupy | 41% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I own aux | 77 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | goupy | 15 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | pissedvegetable | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | egoist | 12 | 0.0192 |
| #5 | dray-k | 11 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dray-k | 623 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | pissedvegetable | 232 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | goupy | 216 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | egoist | 171 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #5 | type shit | 152 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | type shit | +4.86 | 84 | 55 |
| #2 | egoist | +3.87 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | pissedvegetable | +0.66 | 56 | 67 |
| #4 | dray-k | +0.46 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | goupy | -0.08 | 24 | 52 |





