








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 325 | 22% |
| Smokes | 398 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 505 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 262 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,949 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pissedvegetable | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | egoist | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | dray-k | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | liberal | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | I own aux | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | goupy | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | Bizzy Wizzy | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | Perc-Wizard | 50% | 28 |
| #9 | CptCream420 | 47% | 15 |
| #10 | carpetdemon | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I own aux | 7 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | egoist | 7 | 0.0247 |
| #3 | Perc-Wizard | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | liberal | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Bizzy Wizzy | 3 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 95 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #2 | CptCream420 | 49 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Perc-Wizard | 47 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | pissedvegetable | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | liberal | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | +6.02 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | dray-k | +2.71 | 74 | 40 |
| #3 | Valore | +0.74 | 44 | 32 |
| #4 | I own aux | +0.46 | 44 | 28 |
| #5 | Perc-Wizard | +0.09 | 52 | 34 |





