








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 990 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5597 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7260 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8253 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3956 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,602,763 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dray-k | 49% | 63 |
| #5 | pissedvegetable | 47% | 57 |
| #6 | I own aux | 47% | 252 |
| #7 | Shooter McGavin | 46% | 61 |
| #8 | Perc-Wizard | 41% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I own aux | 33 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Perc-Wizard | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | CptCream420 | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Reciente | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Shooter McGavin | 5 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CptCream420 | 263 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | dray-k | 199 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Reciente | 189 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | pissedvegetable | 146 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Shooter McGavin | 104 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reciente | +3.74 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | pissedvegetable | +0.79 | 51 | 64 |
| #3 | dray-k | -0.05 | 70 | 59 |
| #4 | goupy | -0.17 | 25 | 51 |
| #5 | I own aux | -0.92 | 36 | 34 |





