








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 594 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12196 | 32% |
| Smokes | 10823 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8509 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7115 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,718,690 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 758 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | type shit | 65% | 143 |
| #2 | egoist | 62% | 166 |
| #3 | dray-k | 55% | 375 |
| #4 | CptCream420 | 53% | 118 |
| #5 | booted | 52% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | I own aux | 52% | 289 |
| #7 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 51% | 94 |
| #8 | Bizzy Wizzy | 50% | 276 |
| #9 | liberal | 47% | 79 |
| #10 | Perc-Wizard | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 45 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | I own aux | 40 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | dray-k | 24 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Bizzy Wizzy | 20 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | CptCream420 | 13 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 1015 | 0.31 | 29 min |
| #2 | dray-k | 751 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | I own aux | 282 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | type shit | 278 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | CptCream420 | 269 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | +4.30 | 74 | 75 |
| #2 | type shit | +2.70 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | I Smoke Broken Windows | +1.10 | 46 | 54 |
| #4 | booted | +1.01 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | dray-k | +0.71 | 72 | 55 |





