








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1727 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7492 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8418 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3634 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4265 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,739,673 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 602 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | type shit | 75% | 51 |
| #2 | dray-k | 62% | 136 |
| #3 | pissedvegetable | 52% | 73 |
| #4 | phrog | 50% | 274 |
| #5 | Jesse Pinkman | 50% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | pissedvegetable | 52% | 73 |
| #4 | phrog | 50% | 274 |
| #5 | Jesse Pinkman | 50% | 229 |
| #6 | Jerry | 49% | 45 |
| #7 | I own aux | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesse Pinkman | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | I own aux | 12 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | dray-k | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | phrog | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | pissedvegetable | 7 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesse Pinkman | 575 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | phrog | 515 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | dray-k | 431 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | pissedvegetable | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | type shit | 124 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | type shit | +4.24 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | Jesse Pinkman | +1.53 | 59 | 50 |
| #3 | booted | +0.78 | 79 | 55 |
| #4 | phrog | +0.62 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | pissedvegetable | -0.43 | 44 | 66 |





