








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2946 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 383 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 126 matches | ||
| Wingman | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 277 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16200 | 32% |
| Smokes | 13284 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9858 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 11875 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,142,899 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strider | Selling | Trading | 68% | 101 |
| #2 | Corwin | 68% | 142 |
| #3 | type shit | 62% | 430 |
| #4 | booted | 62% | 136 |
| #5 | egoist | 59% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | CptCream420 | 54% | 202 |
| #10 | Reciente | 53% | 90 |
| #11 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 50% | 167 |
| #12 | Bizzy Wizzy | 48% | 139 |
| #13 | I own aux | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 78 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | Reciente | 24 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 23 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | I own aux | 23 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | Bizzy Wizzy | 22 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 1354 | 0.28 | 40 min |
| #2 | type shit | 894 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #3 | Fluorine | 789 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #4 | pissedvegetable | 678 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #5 | CptCream420 | 470 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strider | Selling | Trading | +4.32 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | egoist | +3.47 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | type shit | +3.36 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | Fluorine | +2.59 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | Corwin | +1.61 | 58 | 71 |





